potty training

We all have ways of dealing with jealousy. Some people start to smother the object of their affection. Others withdraw hoping that if they set the person free, that person will come back on their own free will. Then there is the three year old, who poops in her pants.

When the little one was born, the three year old didn't appear to harbor any evil or jealous feelings. However, now that the novelty of a little sister has worn off, that seems to be changing. Thankfully, the change in mood hasn't manifested itself in the form of being too rough with the little one, but rather a much stinkier, non-violent form.

I don't like to poo in front of others, so why should my kids? For the longest time, the three year old would refuse to poop on the toilet. After she would 'try' to go, she would sneak off into some dark shadowy corner and finish her business. This happened time and time again, so eventually we quit buying pull-ups.

Then came the refusal to go at all. You can imagine what this was doing to her insides. Meals began to pile up in her belly, and my wife and I knew that if we didn't do something, we were going to be in real trouble. We wanted to avoid having to shove anything up anyone's butt if at all possible.

Unfortunately, the three year old continued to have a fear of the toilet, which lead to some major constipation… and enemas were gently inserted into her tiny hiney. That process in and of itself could span multiple posts, so I'm going to skip to the lessons learned, and save the smelly details for another day.

Being a man, by nature I feel the need to fix stuff. This is no different with my kids. This resulted in hours spent in the bathroom with the three year old. Many of her tears were shed as I attempted to be the remedy all the pooping problems. After all, the solution was so obvious. She didn't want to poop on the toilet, and I had the ability to sit her on the toilet, and wait…and wait… and wait until she pooped. But nothing happened. She still wouldn't cooperate.

What I found is that forcing the issue didn't help one bit. She just prefers to poop in private, and I don't blame her. So now I try to just leave her alone. At first this was difficult because of the tendency for her to still sneak off and poo in her britches, but after a while this approach proved to be much more effective.

What potty training techniques have you tried that DIDN'T work?
photo courtesy of maryhodder

photo courtesy of maryhodder

This story doesn't start at the beginning, but I can't think of a more appropriate way to start.

It was a day much like this one in the not too distant past. The kids were loaded into the car, and life was good. We were headed down the highway to a friend's house as we had done many times before. But this time was different. My wife and I had no idea what was in store for us only hours later.

Our friends had been in the process of remodeling their new home, and upon arrival, the signs of work were still visible… a few boards here and there, maybe a drill sitting on the counter, and a few other things. None of this was out of the ordinary, and we were just glad to be among friends enjoying good fellowship and food. The kids were behaving as usual, the little one was continuing the typical infant cycle of eating, cooing, crying, and repeating, and the three year old was settling down with her plate of munchies.

Then the wheels of fate started turning. Our gracious host had decided to try his hand at making a buffalo chicken bean dip of some sort, which turned out very good. The three year old chose to partake in some of the dip, which may have been the straw that broke the camel's back.

After finishing her plate, she proceeded to wander around the house, probably looking for the cat, or hunting a ghost, which normally is no cause for alarm. However this time was different. She was too quiet for too long. If my fatherly instincts wouldn't have kicked in, I have no doubt that things could have been much worse.

What I failed to mention earlier was that one of the rooms under renovation was a bathroom. The toilet had been pulled out, and was now in the front room of the house. By the time I got to it, there was now something on the toilet… the three year old, pants around her ankles, doing exactly what she was told to do, poop on the potty. I quickly tried to explain that while she was doing a good thing, the choice of location was just a little off. This was met with much resistance, because she saw nothing wrong. She had to drop a load, found a toilet, and proceeded to do so. What was the big deal?

I took the only action possible at that point. I picked her up, pants still around her feet, and rushed to the nearest toilet that was in a working bathroom.

So what happened? Which potty did she poop in? Check back next monday, or you can speculate in the comments and I may let you know early.

What is the funniest or oddest thing your kid has done while potty training?