Why Are You a Parent?
Have you ever asked yourself why you're a parent? What in the world drove you to bring a child into the world, or adopt? Were you looking for the "Child Tax Credit" to reduce the taxes you owed the government? Were you looking to unleash mini-you's on the world, spreading your agenda to all?
When it comes right down to it I don't know if I have a good answer for why I became a parent. I've always liked kids, and wanted to have kids, but was that all there was to it? Was it just the instinct to "be fruitful and multiply?" My thoughts could perhaps best be summed up with a slight modification to a great scene in an even greater movie:
My answer is I don't have the first damn clue. Maybe I was an early riser and liked to feed screaming kids in the morning. And maybe I didn't have any friends. I'm an educated man, but I'm afraid I can't speak intelligently about my own habits. What I do know is that I was set to be a father on September 6th. Now, are these the questions I was really called to answer? Feeding schedules and feces? Please tell me there's something more.
What I do know is that I'm a parent now, and that having kids has made me a better person (depending who you talk to). I've seen that my kids reflect who I am... both their good sides, and evil sides. There's nothing quite like looking in a mirror and seeing your flaws to make you want to become more than you thought possible.
Why are you a parent?
photo courtesy of elycefeliz
I don't know if I have a good answer either. My wife and I always wanted to have a family together...and maybe for some people who get married this is part of it. Now I have to say that we waited for some time before we decided to have children and we really got to know each other first which was a plus, as we really have no time to do that now with two kids under six running around the house. I can say that being a father has been probably one of the most rewarding and challenging things that I have had happen to me thus far in my life (there have been others - but this tops it I believe).
Having kids has definitely been one of the most challenging things in my life as well. Thanks for your thoughts!
I wanted a son because I wanted to 'carry on the legacy' - not that I have an admirable legacy but I guess that it's a guy thing to have someone to take over the name. To continue on when I cannot. Or maybe it's just a me thing. A daughter could have easily done that as well.
To be honest, in hindsight, I really don't know either - it far too much work!!!!
;)
but there is also so much more reward in the joy of your son or daughter calling after you to say "I love you" and giving you a hug.
As a parent now - of a son, and soon to be father of a daughter (in 3-4 months) I want to be a good parent - providing guidance and protection.
Phill
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Congrats on the soon to be born baby! Kid hugs are the best... that sounds kind of creepy, so maybe more like my kids hugs are the best. Especially when they're wearing footy pajamas.
Good to see I'm not the only one who doesn't remember exactly why they had kids.
I love the paraphrased quote from "A Few Good Men." I use it all the time. I definitely agree with your analysis. Being a father is just innate.
Thanks for stopping by, and I'm glad you agree, sometimes I think I had kids just to keep the species alive!
Great question. For most of my life, I didn't really like kids! I was an only child, never really spent time around them or understood why people liked them so much. They just seemed like great big pains in the butt that threw things and were very loud in general.
Even when most of my friends began having children, I just didn't get it. I wanted to be childless and free for the rest of my life. "I'll leave the kid thing to you guys" was something I would say to folks when asked when I was going to start a family.
Not sure when it all changed, but it did, and almost overnight. Now I can't imagine life without kids. I get it.
My wife and I have often wondered what we did before we had kids. I can't imagine our world without them now.
Thanks for sharing, and I'm glad that kids have changed your life for the better.
Interesting questions and a tough answer. It was just something I planned on all along so it just seemed natural.
I was in the same boat as Colorado Dad, before our daughter was born I didn't really care for children, but something in the brain must switch as I couldn't imagine life without her!
I'm noticing a theme here, and I'm glad I wasn't the only one without all the answers, although I figured I wasn't alone.
I'm a parent for one of the same reasons you're a parent. I just really like kids. To have a kid brings out the best in me where otherwise I might be chasing things in life that I would not feel fulfilled with. I guess I'm a parent (and a stay at home parent) for the same reason actors are actors and doctors are doctors. I'm good at it and I love it.
I'm a parents because I'm good at it. :) I have always been looking out after everyone, so it was a natural choice and a good fit for my nurturing personality. I'm trying to get concerned teachers and parents to pay attention to what schools are using to disinfect for H1N1. Many don’t realize that cleaning supplies are often more hazardous than the H1N1virus itself. Even bleach, because it has to be diluted properly (and usually isn't) can be dangerous when incorrectly used. Here are some resources to help parents determine what their schools are using, and what they should be using: H1N1 in Schools and Environmental Working Group Report on Schools
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