Is Your Child A Golden Calf?
Do you worship the ground your children walk on? Do you present your kids with an offering of your first fruits in delicious gummy snack form, thanking them for a time of prosperity, and to appease them for the times to come?
In my short 4 years as a parent, I've learned that it is very easy to turn your child into an idol. If you think of an idol as something to which you show extreme devotion, then it might be okay to idolize your children. However, from devotion, it's just a hop, skip, and a jump to full out worshipping your kids.
Why shouldn't you idolize your kids?
When you idolize your kids there are two main things that happen. First, you hand over control to your kids, and second, you lose at life.
You know more than your kids (keep in mind I'm coming from the perspective of a dad with small children), so why would you hand over the reins to someone less experienced? It doesn't make any sense, but when you begin to idolize your children, you give them control. When you're in the grocery store and you're worried about their wrath, you shower them with gifts of toys and lollipops. When you're at home, and one of the kids talks back to your spouse, it becomes okay because they didn't really mean what they said. The household descends into chaos.
If you idolize your kids, you lose at life. You focus all of your energy in the wrong direction. There is more to life than finding a mate, getting married, and having kids. If you're expecting all of your happiness to come from your children, you will surely end up disappointed. Instead of making kids the end goal of this journey, bring them along and show them what it means to truly live, love others, and show compassion.
I could go on and on, but just as in real life, I'm best in small doses.
photo courtesy of marcja
I don't know if it's because my wife and I are having our fourth child in five years, but we've never been one to "idolize" our children. I think it's because we just don't have time to commit ourselves to four different "gods". :\
Plus.. That's what grandparents are for.. :)
I bet that does leave little time to do much. We had our two three years apart, so at times it's been easy to fall into the trap of focusing too much on the kids.
Interesting post, and I agree.
It can be a slippery slope and before you know it, you are a slave to the little one. Kids can be very manipulative once they figure it out, and like you mentioned; you'll be in a world of hurt if it gets that far.
I think the point I am getting at is that kids should learn to here the word 'no' once in a while.
Yeah, I kind of wrote this as a reminder to myself. It's easy to get so hung up on the kids and what they're doing that you neglect the other things like my wife, taking care of my own physical health, the people around me, etc.
Some parents lose sight of the parenting responsibility and try to much to be there kids friend. This is another example of how control gets lost. Kids need parents. It doesn't mean you can't show your kids love, just be well rounded and diligent in your parenting responsibility. Jason
Very true, it's sad when parents elevate their kids to near peer status (which is fine later in life, but I know I won't be there for a long time).
I rule with an iron fist... ok so my wife says I'm a softy, but we don't let the kids rule the roost. I struggle a lot more with selfishness and trying to meet my desires than I do with making my kids an idol. They know how to push my buttons to well for me to bend over backwards for them.
Kids always seem to know how to push the right buttons, but at least you know what they're up to when they're doing it.
Post new comment