Your daughter is sleeping with the neighbor kid!

I wish I didn't have to say these words, but I must. Perhaps getting it out in the open will allow the healing to begin. But first, I'll start at the beginning.

It was a day much like any other day, the sun was shining, the birds were chirping, and the little one was screaming. The three year old and I had finished up some work outside, and sauntered back in to eat lunch. It was a near perfect Saturday, and life was good.

As the day wore on, it became even better. We decided to splurge, and used our eating out money to have an upscale dinner at Pizza Hut. The three year old ate like a champ, which is a rarity, and the little one was happy as long as she had some crackers to munch on.

Then it happened. As we pulled in the driveway, the neighbor was outside playing with her grandchildren, one of which happened to be about the three year olds age. Before I knew it they were running around doing cute kiddy type stuff, like throwing rocks, attempting to kill some newly planted grass seed, and otherwise terrorizing the neighbor's house.

As the evening drew to an end, I went looking for the three year old. Bedtime was quickly approaching, and she needed to come home. That's when I found them…

My daughter was sleeping with the neighbor's (grand) kid!

Granted, they were on opposite sides of the bed, fully clothed, and making snoring noises, but visions of the future danced in my head. It's settled; I'm going out and buying a chastity belt that has a time lock set for 30 years in the future.